Saturday, June 4, 2011
On Thursday we had her pre-op appointment. I had been calling it her post-op. Opps! That is for after the surgery. I do not know what I was thinking?! We were gone ALL day! We had to leave the house at 6:30 AM. We dropped the children off at their great-aunt's house. Drove the two hour or so drive to the hospital for our first of three appointments.
We meet with the surgeon, his nurse, the anesthesiologist, her nurse, and the surgeon's research team. Our first appointment was at 9:30 and we finished at 5:30 PM. What a long day to be driving in a car without A/C!
Poor baby cried at having her schedule interrupted. It made me wonder though...did she sense she was in a place where she was going to feel pain in the future? Did her spirit sense what was going to happen to her there? She was not herself. She rarely cries and she was crying like she had just received a shot.
I can't imagine what my mom went through with my brother. Those days were not as advanced as they are now. Plus, I can hold my baby while they check her, but they would take my brother into another room away from his parents. Awful! The treatment required long hospital stays. I don't know or will ever know how hard it was for either of them: Dad, Mom or brother. I'm just grateful my little one will have it easier and I will too.
When we went to pick up our other children, my son asked if we had fixed his sister. He knows she is going to have surgery soon. I am trying to talk my husband into letting them come with us. I think they should be there when she has her surgery. I want them to remember it. I never knew what was happening to my brother when I was little. It was (to me it seemed) as if it was wrong to talk about it. I don't want my daughter to think or feel this way at all or any of the other children.
Now it's just the waiting game until surgery day. I'm trying to take as many photos and videos of her now. I'm afraid once she is done I won't remember the little face I fell in love with...the way she looked when she came to me. I'm sad to see her wide smile has it's days numbered. I probably sound crazy for thinking this about her smile. It must be done for her sake and for her future. Thank you Heavenly Father for allow science to advance to have babies born with craniofacial issues be corrected.
I've been reading the history of the cleft and other birth defects. I guess before these surgeries were an option they just let these babies die. How awful! I can't imagine my world without my brother, nephew, daughter or any other child born with a cleft. It's beyond description at how horrible it is to think of letting a baby die for this little "problem".
I'm thankful to be living in this time period, very thankful.