For the LOVE of children.

"But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven."-Matthew 19:14

Please feel free to share PRIMARY PHUNNYS of the children in your lives by emailing me at and I will include it in the blog.

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

The Night Before the First Appointment

Tomorrow we head out of the house at 6:30 a.m. for our drive up north (2 1/2 hours or so) to meet the surgeon who will be examining our newborn baby girl. I wish I could describe this awful feeling in the pit of my stomach. It is turning over and over in a terrible way. Part of me wants to eat a tub of ice-cream (unfortunately, we have some butter pecan right now) and part of me wants to vomit and the last part of me just wants to cry. Is it fear? Uh, I think it is fear mixed with some good measure of anxiety. Plus, we are driving to a place we've never been to before. Will we get lost? Will we make the appointment on time? I really can't stand to be late to stuff like this and the anticipation of it makes me nervous.

Well, it's not just the drive, but the appointment itself. Why are we always so scared of the unknown? Well, I sort of know surgery is in the future for my sweet baby, but how many? She got her foot pricked for the PKU testing this week and she cried. I was nursing her at the time too. This did not help. I said, "Oh, baby and you have much worse in store for you." I should not have said this because I could not get her little crying face (still can't) out of my mind. Will she hurt much during and after the surgery? Will she cry in pain afterwards? Will she be in so much pain that she can't even cry? This is what I dread. I wish it was me instead.

How did Heavenly Father do it when he saw his son on the cross dying? I don't know. How does he handle all the horrors mankind does to each other? I imagine mine is just a microscopic sampling of how he feels on a day to day basis.


  1. Hi Mia,
    My name is Teresa and my son was born with a cleft lip and palate. I found your blog off of the cleft board. I thought I would introduce myself because your post about your fears hit home with me. If you want you can check out his blog - He had quite an adventure of a first year! But, God is so good! He will carry you through this. And He has a high calling on your daughter's life. I believe it because He uses Josiah to bring joy and hope wherever he goes! Check out my blog if you're interested. I would love to talk to you more...

    Teresa Ko

  2. Hi Teresa,
    Thanks. I will. Yes, these babies are truly a blessing.